i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
I walked up to a girl in a bar, and all I was capable of doing was taking my beer and bumping it up to hers. While doing so, all I could say was "Bud Light". She walked away.
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
hey watch out, they threw flour on everyone who passed out at their party last year.
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Going back to the ever classy sneak out to the fridge and swig liquor from the bottle method. That it is legal for me to drink here makes the fact that I have to do this all the more depressing.
Randomize
