your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
all I want for my birthday is booze and sex toys. don't bother calling if neither of those are included.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
Randomize
