You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
you threw up into the pocket of your shirt. which was pretty damn polite
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
scratch that I can tell you where she is shes drunk on a beach somewhere being a penis slayer
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
You kept pointing at me and saying I'm getting chicken parmesan and no one is going to stop me
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Randomize
