My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
