Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
We have a lot of substance abuse to do tomorrow its sleep time
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
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