she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
I'm going to join a nudist colony to win $1000. There are no down-sides to this.
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
There was a selfie of you in the dark pointing at the camera with a duck face. You sent it to my 60 year old mother with the caption "you behave"
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
I FINALLY GET TO MASTURBATE. SO EXCITED.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Randomize
