hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I'm drinking too much free beer
Thats like saying one owns too many kittens. It's not possible.
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
In this town being related to a brewing family or the owner of a sports team is like being royalty. It's like hooking up with the queen's nephew or something.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize
