i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
never play flip cup with pint glasses
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Boobs speak an international language.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
I had to get my boss birth control a work today. I knew going to ASU would come in handy in my career someday.
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
Randomize
