i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
lets start a swedish sibling band together
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Girl next to me just said "as a guy I used to sweat but not I don't. it's awesome" Oh. My. God.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Great. I get laid, Leslie Nielsen dies. I can't have have sex anymore, the film community can't take another loss like this.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
