**** and his GF asked me to give his stuff back, and they would give me a 100. HA, they dont know I have it to charity haha
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize
