So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
I made out with him with my retainers in. My drunken hook-ups get lazier and lazier.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
I didn't have the heart to tell him that the reason my vagina was so "prelubricated" was because I had just had another gentleman caller an hour earlier. So, when he commented about how turned on I appeared, I just went with it.
i snuck out to taco bell in my hospital gown earlier
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
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