Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
Randomize
