While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
I just found out my favorite drunk show, Repo Men, is just reenactments. I can't express through words my disappointment.
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
I'm bleeding and have questions
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Randomize
