I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
He told me he had herpes after I put his hotdog in my mouth
According to Glamour magazine, experiencing sexual pleasure helps you live longer. I am dying an early death.
Is it wierd that I kind of wish I could hang out with Melissa Joan Hart?
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
i wanna anger bang this girl behind me at work. she never shuts up with her annoying voice. but her boobs are phenom.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
They didn't have a "sorry I was late for your birthday party because I was getting arrested" card.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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