Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
im pretty sure you tried to fart so bad you accidently pissed your pants at my party.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
I'm not talking about Donald Trump in the midst of sending you nudes
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
If you think I'm going to drive 5.5 hours just to bang a guy, you'd be absolutely right.
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