Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
It's decided. Tomorrow I'm getting a Big Mac and a Dildo
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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