I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Put your dick on his face to wake him up, dont worry its fine.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
It's like past high you was looking out for future high you by rolling that joint and leaving it in your coat pocket. What a Halloween miracle
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
First night of sleeping in the same bed, and she farted on me. I immediately excused myself and went home. Don't know if we're still together. Will update you.
Pooping in a box is not fun. You're not a cat.
Randomize
