Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
