i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Those balls look pretty dangerous.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
We just broke into a lion king sing along. Understanding is not possible.
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
JUST BECAUSE I ANSWER THE DOOR NAKED CARRYING A BOTTLE OF RUM DOESN'T MEAN YOU CAN STARE NEIGHBORS.
Randomize
