my girlfriend just informed me I need to get tested and so do you
girlfriend?
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
So what do normal people wear to parties? Normal meaning not you.
You wear an inflatable farm animal to TWO THEMED PARTIES and I never get to hear the end of it...
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
Randomize
