i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
If I walk downstairs and Kelly is fucking in the laundry room again I'm gonna die
...take a good look at your butthole.... then try matching it to any paint color on the Benjamin Moore color wheel....not gonna happen...
Nobody cheats on THIS.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
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