wat bout pragnant strippers??
Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I need to stop getting high and watching documentaries. Wanna go to Japan with me and protest the mass genocide of dolphins?
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
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