stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Oh you know, watching its always sunny and petting his cat and NOT fucking. I'm starting my whorefree 2012 resolution early.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Nothing like hearing "I found your pinky nail" before you even noticed it was missing.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Randomize
