I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I'm up to 9 pic of different guys. I need 4 more boys and each one of the 13 to submit 3 additional pics. I wanna make a penis deck of cards.
i'm sorry i gave your brother a handjob while you were on the blanket next to us, but to be fair your back was turned.
All I wanted was a hug. You dirty, dirty whore.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
I think he's speaking German to me now
Nevermind, he's just drunk and not texting properly
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize