I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
I wasn't that drunk, I know my limits. When peeing became difficult I stopped taking shots.
What i love about my dog is i can lay in bed and masturbate with him at the foot, and he just leaves me alone.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I’ll call you in a minute. Trying to book an AirBnB so I can finally bang the yummy guy from yoga
Your downward dog is going to rock his cock. I’m jealous
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