so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Randomize
