Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
If we can only get laid once in a blue moon, apparently this will be our month.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
MY DAD KEEPS LIKING PORN LINKS/ALBUMS ON FACEBOOK AND THEY ALL SHOW UP IN MY NEWSFEED
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
Randomize
