so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
The more time I spend surrounded by Mormons, the more I miss alcohol.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
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