I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
You tried to call "time out" during the sobriety test.
and he should realize what an amazing ex i am for encouraging my best friend to hook up with him
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
The bachelor party was supposed to stay local but I think were in mexico.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
