rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Now you have tequila AND fuzzy slippers. Fuck you. I want that to be MY night.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
