Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I heard you ran into my sister lastnight. Do you remember making out with her and slapping my uncle?
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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