Whssdazt areerg yiu up to? U thijk ur lame!
read your last text- its a foreign language-im not ignoring you, easyyy
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
The doctor wrote 'condom retrieval' on my discharge paper.
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What kind of friend would I be if I didn't make you hate things you once loved?
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
Yeah well I fucked my ex on a sink last night soooo booty calls for us all
Randomize
