Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
i buy too many watermelons when I'm drunk
Randomize
