I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Day 1 of "Death of a Liver" weekend complete. It came with flashbacks of horrible mistakes I made due to alcohol. I'm excited for how Sunday is going to turn out.
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
