You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
We role played last night. I was Brandon Inge and she was some slut from Toledo. Let's just say Triple A might not be so disappointing after all.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Randomize
