am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
*jedi mind trick* you want to go down on me
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
