I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize