Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
It was a rude awakening when I turned on my phone and the first thing I saw was a picture of David's dick with a face on it, I need to stop drinking in his basement...
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
u r missing out we r watching a tranny direct traffic in a gstring
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
WHY DOES HE HAVE TO CALL WHEN I'M MASTURBATING?! This time I'm really pissed. It's like he knows he's depriving me of orgasms.
tried to chug a glass full of ice cubes. went better then expected.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
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