conclusion of the day: americans need to get on tredmills, people need to learn how to flush toliets and learn how to pee in then instead of on them, and waiters shouldnt tell their life stories to customers.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
You didn't act like you were blacked out yesterday...
I didn't know
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
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