I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
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