i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
So i think we're being coned into a threesome with the promise of pokemon
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
Yes, she gives me platonic blowjobs as part of our friendship.
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
