i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
just found the deal breaker
hairy back?
he can't live within 1000 ft of a school
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Chill out, I'm getting ready as fast as I can. I didn't even masturbate in the shower.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
I got fucked in a bat mobile this morning. Being slutty rules.
I'm covered in bruises and scratches. I dont know whether to call them battlescars or sex decals
Randomize
