I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
too bad you live with your parents still
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
[insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I just looked at the guy in the car next to me and he was wearing a divers mask. We just nodded cause we both understood.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
Randomize
