I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
Yeah well I used to see how many bud lights I could slam down during the pledge of allegiance, my record was 4, but I could do better now.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
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