she tasted like a mixture of sweat and destiny
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I pulled some girls weeve trying to pull the stop cord on the bus
Bartender just fed me brownie. Its going to be a good night
ok it turns out chain mail does not protect against falling down a flight of stairs. please send help.
Now I can say "look me up on Pornhub."
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
All you have to drink is moonshine and ranch. This is bullshit.
Magyver!
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
Randomize
