but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
When I said 'i love my boyfriend' I didn't mean 'send me a picture of your penis'.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I think my Halloween costume this year will be made entirely of pillows and I'll be Marshmellow girl or Kirby. That way I'm comfortable, warm, and if I fall over drunk I'm safe.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
After arriving 30 minutes late, he slowly walked to his desk and halfway there he just falls over like a tree and passes out. I now have some sort of proof as to how awesome that night was.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
We were going to play manhunt in a strip club, calling it mancunt.
you flipped over the sheets and there was my bed. filled with ding dongs.
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
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