whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
LA Sucks. The only way i can get laid is if i tell people im at a law firm that represent film producers.
And when they figure it out, they act like IM shallow.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I think I'm going to go into my next therapy session with hot client with my fly down and when he tells me about it I'm going to say "how did that happen?!" and then porn music will start to play.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Puked in my purse on my Uber ride home last night. Safe to say it's not a good idea to beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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