my elementary bus driver served me drinks last night. He hooked me up
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
I'm pretty sure they had a hash wedding cake. I love college weddings.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
I remember walking into a bathroom stall that had a couple fucking in it and giving them a condom and a thumbs up and then leaving
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
