how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
he has a puerto rico area code and says his name is johnny cash. extremely suspect
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
I have a black eye again and dont know why again
Randomize
