I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
You have a roommate and cry when you see my dick
Why can't people give useful wedding gifts...like sex swings or Nutella?
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Randomize