Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i gave her road head last night, needless to say it wasn't the same and i bit a chunk of the inside of my cheek off.
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Randomize
