if i die, you can have my worn out liver and american apparel deep v's.sell the liver to a chinese restaurant
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
maybe i'll make good life choices and keep my legs closed. periodically txt me friday and saturday night saying "baby carrot round 2" that should stop me.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
Randomize
