I wish my cat could text because i would tell him that everything will be ok. and i wish he could send them back..but him have no thumbs. him no know what he would text with.
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
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