I just found puke in my bra..
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I paid your cover too so you're on the list as tits mcgee. You're welcome :D
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
