Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Nothing like running into your favorite bartender in the middle of the afternoon while stone cold sober and being told your grabbed his penis the last time you were at his bar. My bad.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
ill give you some hints: blood, carnival, fog machine, happy meal.
Randomize
