Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
After I tried for five minutes to hang my beer from the coat hanger in the bathroom , I have realized I am drunk
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
He taped the number 420 over all of his clocks
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
I am actually offended he hasn't asked me to sleep with him yet to get better grades...I wanted the whole college experience.
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
