I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He said he had bite marks on his back... Turns out he had to throw me over his shoulder, and I was really reluctant.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
there was so much lube in my brother's closet...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
My little sister just helped me edit my nudes so that's how my night is going
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Randomize
