Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
There are reggae songs being written about me...where have I gone wrong in life?
I just got a lap dance from a sexy cop in return for giving him his sunglasses back. I think this is going to be the beginning of a really great friendship
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Let the clothes fall where they may.
Randomize
