He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We walked in and someone handed her an unopened bottle of jack with her name on it. She's like a drunken celebrity.
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
You claimed that someone else had vomited underneath you/on your hand
you were very insulted that we didn’t believe you that someone else vommed
Im bringing my light up rubber ducky just in case we end up at a rave tonight. HE CHANGES COLOR!
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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