They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
The chips are stabbing my teeth, and I can feel the muscle under my mouth contracting.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I'll come hang out with you guys later, but right now my parents aren't home and I have to take full advantage of being able to watch porn on full blast.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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