I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
a stripper queefed in my friends mouth last night and it reminded me of you. miss you
the new roommate knocked on my door this morning holding a bong in one hand and my dennys leftovers from last night in the other. love this kid. Best student housing placement ever.
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
I put purple lights under my bed and asked him if he wanted to fuck in a spaceship.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
Randomize
